I turn 31 in a couple of weeks and a birthday is always a good time to take stock of one’s life (read my reflection on turning 30 here). So how are things going? I mean, really. Let’s be honest here.
Well, here are the facts. I haven’t bought a house. I don’t own a car. I don’t have the security of a real job. I travel constantly. I rent in a hip neighbourhood because eating avocado toast at cafés for breakfast makes me happy. I rarely go to bed before midnight on weeknights. The terms ‘mortgage insurance’, ‘variable interest rates’, ‘capital gains tax’ and ‘stamp duty’ don’t exist in my vocabulary (what do these things even mean?). I run away from lock-in contracts. Basically, I suck at this thing called adulting. So when am I going to give up this game and finally get my shit together? Aren’t I too old for this kind of lifestyle? Isn’t it about time I got serious?
The thing is, I actually DO have my shit together. It just doesn’t look the way we’re conditioned to think it should look. No, most people think that having their shit together looks something like owning property, getting a mortgage, acquiring possessions, paying off student loans, popping out a few kids, climbing the corporate ladder, always aiming for a promotion to earn more, buy more stuff and borrow more money, looking forward to their one vacation per year since that’s all they can afford (due to said mortgage and debt) and it’s the only time off they can wrangle. Sound depressing? Well, this is the reality of what adult life looks like so you better get used to it. This is the way it goes. This is what ‘normal’ looks like.
I’m calling bullshit on that. To me, this sounds and looks like a prison sentence.
So you know what? I do have my shit together. It just looks different. I stopped playing by the rules a while back and here’s how it turned out:
I’m not a slave to a company but I’m my own boss. I’m not drowning in mortgage repayments but have money in the bank instead. I don’t own a house but I can afford to rent in an inner-city, cool neighbourhood. I don’t own a car but I use public transport to get around most places. I don’t have to ask my boss to take time off work because I answer to no one. I don’t dread Monday mornings and I’m actually excited to get to my desk every day. I rarely buy new things because I’ve learnt that possessions tie you down and don’t make you any happier. I don’t travel once or twice a year, I travel almost every month (read about my 2016 in review). I’m not sacrificing my happiness now in the hope of one day enjoying my life in retirement because that seems like the actual opposite way we should be living.
Having my shit together to me means being abile to remain flexible, mobile, free, independent, honest and empowered. This is how I’m doing life. So I think I’m going alright in my early thirties after all.
Like this post and interested in reading more reflections? You might like to browse the Journal category or read:
- Why You Need to Re-think Your Definition of Success
- Why Your Crappy Job Might Be Exactly What You Need
- One Year On: 10 Things That Happen When You Quit the 9-5
I so agree with this. I’m currently living in Canada for the second time and although I have no mortgage and my possessions can fit in a couple of suitcases, I wouldn’t change anything 🙂
That’s awesome, Hayley! It’s not about what you own, but the experiences and memories you create. Am dying to visit Canada! Which city are you living in?
I second this post! It is quite nice to be your own boss and have a certain amount of flexibility!
It absolutely is, Elizabeth! 🙂
This post is just what I needed to read. My boyfriend and I are at the point where we are considering buying a house as it’s something we’ve always wanted - our own space with a yard so we can have a dog - but we have yet to make it happen because of the fear of being tied down to one place. We both love our jobs (he designs houses and I design playgrounds) but unfortunately they are they typical 9-5 jobs that limit how often we can travel which is what we truly want to do. I feel like my boyfriend and I are at a Y in the road and don’t know which route to take. Was there anything that made it easier for you to take the leap into quitting your full time job and starting this new lifestyle?
I’m so glad that this post came to you at a good time, Jaqui. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are definitely at a fork in the road. My honest, best advice would be to go travel, take risks and open your world up now before you lock yourselves into a mortgage and all the responsibilities that come with that. There is seriously plenty of time for all of that. Quitting my 9-5 job was made easier by the fact that I was feeling unhappy and unfulfilled and I already had a side hustle that was going well and I was passionate about. Making big changes like this is always scary but it’s what leads to new pathways you never dreamt of! Best of luck and let me know what you end up doing x
I love this post so much! You are totally right, you should never be a slave to societal norms, even if does sometimes raise an eyebrow. Every individual is different and the right path for one individual isn’t always the right path for another xx
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Thanks love! My thoughts exactly. Speaking of making your own path, I need to catch up on all YOUR latest news too! Big changes this year for you? xx